Stephanie's Blog

Just a Mom's thoughts about the game,

My son had a fabulous game today. His team won over a team they have been longing to beat.  The energy out there was amazing.  The boys worked their hearts out and the parents cheered for the team with enthusiasm.  But something got me thinking.  Every game, no matter how good we are doing or how poor the kids are performing, like clockwork a referee will make a bad call.  And as sure as the day is long the crowd goes crazy.  Negativity suddenly fills the spectator crowd.  Everything from low key grumbling to people yelling obscenities.   "It's just not fair" "The ref's are in the other teams pocket", "3 blind mice"  I have heard it all.  Now I can not sit hear and say I completely understand all the rules of youth football, as a matter of fact most of the time when others are raging mad I am left asking "what just happened"  The one thing I have in common with the rest of the parent spectators I am surrounded by is that I love my son and I want him to be successful.  I want him to play in a safe game with fair referee's that treat all the kids on the field with fairness and respect.  I can't help but wonder are the referees really intentionality making horrible calls.  Can they ALL be that against us?  Or is refereeing a youth sport a difficult job?  Is it possible that in the chaos of a play the ref might truly miss something?  With all those kids moving around in one small area the ref can interpret an action by a player inaccurately?  I guess, I mean they are human.  No matter how hard I try to get mad about a missed call I just cant help but think that these individuals who are refereeing must be doing this job for some reason other then the pay.  I can't imagine they are making tons of money doing this.  So what is that reason? A Love for the game? A desire to be involved in the lives of young people? I just cant imagine anyone getting up one morning and saying "today I will ref a youth football game and I am going to intentionally screw over some kids"   I digress, What I realized today when a horrible call (or so I gather) was made, we as the parents were sending the WRONG message.  When we should have been encouraging the kids to work through all levels of adversity no matter what, instead there were shouts of excuses, indirect cut downs of the refs and messages of hopelessness.  As if the refs were trying to steal the game from us.  Now maybe they were.  I do not know any of the refs so I guess anything is possible.  But I started to think: our children will face many levels of challenges through out their lives.  I can not remember the last time I got pulled over by the police and thought "Wow, that is fair.  I mean I was speeding" no instead I think "Seriously?! That idiot in front of me was clearly going faster then me."  or "You have got to be kidding where were you yesterday when everyone on this road was sailing past me because I was the only one going the speed limit"  My point is that at times LIFE DOES NOT SEEM FAIR.  It is not about making it fair.  It is about overcoming that challenge in the most creative and productive ways.    When the refs are calling too many bad calls against us it is a challenge to clean up our game and overcome that challenge.  We must push to be better at whatever it is we are doing despite the barriers.  With out these additional challenges life would be boring and we would fail to appreciate the many blessings we have because we would not have to work hard.......................